nothing quite like the truth.

It's 1:26 a.m. and I can't sleep. Naturally, I am blogging.

Today was a weird day. One of those days where something is off, but you can't really pin point it.

Something I am starting to realize as I get older, it's definitely okay not to be okay. We are conditioned to think we have to be happy, beautiful and perfect all of the time. We are conditioned not to show any weakness or tell the truth. We are conditioned to never open up to others and be vulnerable and honest. I truly hope everyone's life is as grand as they make it look on Facebook, because I am sure it's exhausting.

Once upon a time, I had a best friend who decided to write letters with me when I nannied in California. Today I saw a quote on Tumblr that reminded me of the entire experience:

I remember through the entire experience thinking I could not show any weakness to anyone. I had to make my So-Cal life look amazing, and it was.. in some ways. But it was mostly depressing. I remember writing her a letter admitting that things were "getting really really hard." She wrote back and said, "I thought so. I didn't think you were really having as much fun as your facebook made me think."
The other day I read the journal that I had kept at that time, and cried for myself. 

As I keep writing this post, I really don't know why I am. I guess these are just life thoughts I am having at 1:30 am. 

There's really nothing quite as beautiful as vulnerability. I wish I knew who this quote was from, because I love it so much.

“I love unmade beds. I love when people are drunk and crying and cannot be anything but honest in that moment. I love the look in people’s eyes when they realize they’re in love. I love the way people look when they first wake up and they’ve forgotten their surroundings. I love the gasp people take when their favorite character dies. I love when people close their eyes and drift to somewhere in the clouds. I fall in love with people and their honest moments all the time. I fall in love with their breakdowns and their smeared makeup and their daydreams. Honesty is just too beautiful to ever put into words.”

Ode to the red cup.

Every year there is a day, a day which I (and many others) go ape shit over.

Starbucks Holiday Drink Day.


Even though it was a few weeks ago, I was so excited and still am.

I pulled up to that window and the most beautiful little thing was handed to me, a red Starbucks cup full of warm joy. I even said, "YAY! The red cup!" and the Barista responded.. "I know right!?" She obviously understands me.

This is my favorite time of year, and I dread the day that red cup goes away. But for now, I shall dwell in it.

Happy red cup season!!

short one.

It is about friggen time I blog again. I tried to talk myself into believing I should exclusively use Tumblr only, but not enough of you have jumped on that wagon yet. So, here I am again.

Geez, what to say after so long. I could rant about the election like the rest of the social media world, but I will save you the anxiety of reading more politishit.

Life is good, I can't believe I graduate in 6 months. Holy cow. I tried to avoid the "real world" by convincing myself to stick around an extra semester and run for another council position with Kappa Delta, the universe was not on my side for that one and slapped me in the face a few times telling me "Get the hell out." I kind of love events like that, where you just know you're supposed to be doing something else. The hard part is not knowing exactly why. I guess I'll find out soon enough.

As for now: I have jumped on The Walking Dead band wagon, love when my mom makes me cupcakes, am over school, and still worship Starbucks.

Oh, and I am obsessed with Lana Del Rey.


Happy Thursday :)

atlas

yes i made this. :) i am proud.

summer

Summer is almost over.

waaaahhhhh.

lately

I have been here almost 6 weeks and have blogged twice. I guess that might be a good thing.

Since the New York lifestyle tends to be a busy one, it has gone by so fast. I can't believe that the journey is ending in just a little over 2 weeks.

Let's face it- no one likes reading paragraphs and paragraphs of what someone else did or how they feel. So here's a bit of what I have been up to-

 spending too much money on brightly colored clothes

 eating a few too many of these^^

 wishing I had one of these^^

spending a few days with this guy :)

some stuff.

I can't believe how much I am learning and seeing. Career-wise and just about life in general.
The other day I was in the East Village with my friend/fellow intern and a guy honked at another guy... normally most rational people would ignore it.. maybe flip the bird.

No.


This guy went ape shit. Got out of his car, started walking back to the other guy who then got out of his car and socked him in the face. A bunch of yelling happened.. and then we kept walking.

What the what?

Oh.


Then just as we came out of the yoga building, a group of homeless people were walking by and one of the guys started puking all over the sidewalk. He just kept walking.


Ok.

City slickaaaaa

Alright- The city is really growing on me. Even though the subway is a whole other issue in itself (I kind of hate it).. however, I am learning the subway system and feel like a big girl now. I even gave people directions and actually knew what I was talking about. Guys- I'm not a tourist anymore. Hell yeaaaah. On the subject of tourists- I am one a lot of places I go, but I can say I understand why New Yorkers despise tourists. Nothing is more annoying than trying to get somewhere on time and coming across people walking extremely slow in front of you looking at a map or taking pictures.
(*I have definitely been this person many times before).  It's kind of like when you're walking down a hallway (or sidewalk) and the person in front of you stops dead in their tracks.. and you get annoyed and have to go around. My friend Paige described it perfectly- "It's like car traffic, you have to pull over instead of just stop." So, my friends, I advise you to remember those words the next time you are on vacation in a busy place, or walking down a hallway in general.


So these chocolate muffins at work are going to be the death. As if all the sweets and yummy food in the city won't already be. I might come home fat, whatevs.

Williamsburg, Brooklyn (AKA hipster central, AKA wannabe Amsterdam, AKA I want to live there) is truly a fantastic place. Most of the Manhattan-ers here hate Williamsburg because of the Hipsters. I told a guy I work with that I went to Williamsburg this past weekend and he said, "Did you see all the dirty hipsters?" Ugh I know it is so cliche, but I was actually sort of obsessed with it. If you ever visit NYC, you should go see Williamsburg.. even if you hate hipsters. So many amazing street vendors selling cool jewelry and clothes. Paige even bought me a really cute winter beanie I fell in love with as a late bday present. Thanks friend :) We also ate at this fun little niche restaurant called "The Meatball." Which was, exactly what the name is, meatballs only. It was a fun restaurant with dry erase menus. Funsie. The waiter also snickered at the fact that I asked for a PBR on a sunday afternoon. I didn't understand.

Yoga to the people. A brilliant concept. Free yoga (donations appreciated) for awesome regular people who don't chant and who aren't pretentious. The whole philosophy behind it is a judge-free environment for average people.. not to mention THE MUSIC was fantastic. Doing yoga to Iron & Wine is my kind of yoga.


Let's be honest- the guy who sits next to me at work thinks I am a joke of an intern. The tabs currently open on my computer include my e-mail, Pandora, Music stock photos, twitter, Facebook and blogger. Little does he know I am the social media intern.






I miss you friends- I hope your summers are AMAZING.
      Alaska, New Mexico, Utah, Tanzania, California, New Jersey.

apple.

I decided to delete my other blog.. It was kind of useless, since I have this one.

Living in New York City definitely isn't easy, and I have only been here a week. It's enough for a Utah girl to adjust to the east coast lifestyle.. but when things are rocky back home it makes it a rough ride. Luckily I have a cute pug to cuddle with.
   Don't get me wrong people. I am pretty lucky to be in the concrete jungle interning for a fantastic company. My favorite is walking around the financial district at lunch and being one of the few people in casual attire.
There's really nothing like New York City. It's an incredible place with so much to do and see.

Instead of yacking on-- here are some photos from the weekend!

Some sweet street art

 The BAM- coolest movie theatre.

Little Italy

We were artsy and went to the Guggenheim

 Washington Square Park

Birthdays!

Yay for Birthdays!!! Happy Birthday Rachelle and Julie!

This is me and Rachelle. Rachelle loves whales. Love is an understatement, actually. She eats mac n cheese at Noodles like nobody's business. She is pretty cool and I am sort of obsessed with her. We are basically the same person so that instantly makes her great. I love you Rachelle! Happy Birthday!

Oh hey, Julie. Julie loves music almost as much as I do. Okay probably the same. She shares my love for Bon Iver, which means major bonding points. Julie loves bbq wheat thins. Julie has really cute hair that I am jealous of, even though one time she tried to ombre it herself.. using one of those DIY Youtube videos.... it was a disaster and I got to see :) muahahah. I love you Julie! Happy Birthday!




My birthday was fantastic! I appreciate everyone that made it so great. Tyler and I got to go indoor skydiving and it was so much fun.. even though they only give you 2 minutes of flying time. It's still great :) I loved it and I want to do it again already.

weddings and facebook=terrible.

Warning: This may offend, but that's your choice :) 
 I am not speaking of any one person/couple in particular.
                   

Tacky Facebook Wedding shit. I am a terrible person, I know. I have just been waiting to rant about this issue. WHY WHY WHY do people think it is okay these days to make a Facebook group for their wedding, and ask people to put their addresses on there "If you want to come!" What happened to etiquette? Yes, Facebook is a great resource to easily connect. That is when you send each person you would like to invite to your wedding a personal message kindly asking them for their address. Recently, my mom did not get invited to a wedding of a close family friend because why? She didn't post her address in the Facebook group. What the hell is wrong with you people? You're tacky and I hate you.

Rant #2- Terrible engagement/wedding pictures. There are some truly terrible ones out there. It makes me sad that every Utah mom with a nice SLR thinks she is a photographer.
     


That is all for this rainy day.


Sorry for the rants. 

Mom's Day.

This weekend we had our Mom's Day for Kappa Delta. Both parents days throughout the year are under the VP-Public Relations (that's me!) So it was a pretty big deal for me considering it was my event. I honestly could not have done it without my PR Assistant and bestie Paige. She honestly knows her stuff when it comes to throwing any sort of event.
I could not be happier with my first event planning experience! It was so much fun and I think everyone really enjoyed it.

The afternoon started out with a nice tea brunch at the KD house. Girls and their moms showed up in dresses and big hats. The room was decorated perfectly and the food was absolutely fantastic! (A HUGE thank you again to all who donated food!) Following the lunch, everyone headed downstairs for a little program where our VP-Community Service, VP-Standards and our President explained a little bit more what we are about. We then headed back upstairs to CRAFT! Everyone's favorite part. My mom's fantastic company Basic Grey donated tons of supplies for us to make frames... not to mention, they gave us a screamin good deal on the frames!

The rest of the day the girls spent with their moms doing fun things around Logan and taking pictures. I would say the day was a success and I am very pleased with it!

Paigey and Me :)

springy.

It has been a loooong minute since I have dived into the world of blogging, and I miss it. This has, by far, been the busiest semester of my entire life.  I remember how much I used to hate boredom and having absolutely nothing to do for a few days at a time, and now that I never have it.. I miss it! Ah, the grass is always greener.

I cannot believe it is already almost April! I'm not complaining, the weather is the greatest thing ever and school is winding down. Yay! It is so hard to care about school at this point. I am dying.

I am getting so incredibly excited/nervous for the summer. Mainly because I am so done with school and it will be nice to have a break from council duties (even though I love it) for KD. I hope I am prepared enough for this internship, I'd hate to show up and be some ridiculous girl from Utah who has no idea what she is doing. :/

Spring break was such a fun time and a nice break from school. Tyler was nice enough to come up two weekends in a row.. once for spring break and once for my KD formal. I had so much fun and it meant so much to me that he was willing to drive that far and take the time to come up.

<3 this boy.

A few weeks ago, I was given the opportunity to go to Atlanta, GA for a National Collegiate Training Academy put on by Kappa Delta. All ten council members plus our advisors were invited to the event. 1600 Kappa Deltas in one room is pretty amazing.

Instant bonds were formed with our sisters from all over the country. The photo on the left is Bailey, my fellow VP-Public Relations from UCLA.

The love and sisterhood that KD's share is unlike anything I've ever experienced.

Ahh, one of my favorite Kappa Deltas! Former National President Corre Stegall. This gracious woman spoke the last day of our conference and had the entire room in a trance. Her love and passion for the organization goes beyond the ordinary. It was during her speech that I felt my true love for Kappa Delta forming.

I am so incredibly lucky to have had this opportunity!

Ode to the greats.

I am so incredibly lucky to be surrounded by some of the most inspiring people on this earth, some of them don't even understand the impact they have. That's one of the interesting things about life, you never ever know who you're touching.  I don't know about any of you, but I am a firm believer that none of us could get through life without those special people kicking us in the behind saying "keep trying."

There's nothing like taking the roller coaster ride of life with a good friend to throw our hands up and scream with.

I want to thank those people who have helped me tremendously in my life.



Mom and Dad.
I have posted about them countless times, but it's because they have made such a huge impact on the person I have become. They have always put up with my crazy ideas and dreams, and let me figure things out on my own. Thank you for bringing me up with the opportunity to chase my dreams and always supporting me. I love you.

look how precious they are.

Ty.

Never in my life did I think I would find someone so sweet. This guy is my everything. He keeps me going when times are tough and won't let me give up.. on anything. I am so incredibly lucky to have the most supportive boyfriend in the entire world. He always puts me first, even if it means we don't get to see each other as much. I feel like that is the true definition of love for another person. I love you Ty.

Paige.

Thank you for knowing me so well that you could probably make better decisions for myself than I could. Everyone needs that person in their life. I am fortunate enough to have that in both a best friend and a sister. You helped me through the hardest time of my entire life and I simply cannot thank you enough. I love you girl. 

Ashley.

Thank you for being the type of friend I know I can always come back to no matter how long it's been. We've been through a lot together and I can say we know each other to the core. You've made a huge impact in my life, whether you realize it or not. I look up to you and know I can always count on you. I love you Ash.

this was one of the very few pics of us I could find on my computer. Senior year in high school. 

Hmm.. maybe we should take more pics?

Tracy.

One of the most fantastic people of this generation, I am not kidding. Thanks for being my coffee buddy. You have made my life so full of deep conversations, I don't know where I'd be without them. You have no idea how much your friendship means to me. I love you tracer.

Betsy.

I cannot even begin to explain how much this woman has impacted my life. She came into my life at an interesting time, when I couldn't have needed her any more. We instantly clicked and were inseparable for months. Thank you for being my "church" friend and always encouraging me to be a better person... and giving me loads of amazing music. I love you Bets. 

we should probably update our picture.....

More shout outs-

Stef- I really miss you more than anything. I could not be more grateful for our friendship. Thank you for always being someone I can count on.

Arthur- boy I miss you!! I need to come visit soon. I miss us living a staircase apart. Thanks for your friendship, it means a lot. Love you boiii.

Preston- Get home already you freak. I miss you.

My bros- you guys are the best. Thanks for keeping your little sis on track throughout the years.. and not letting me do "ghetto" things like tanning with a heart sticker in high school.

The Bard Family- Not sure if you'll read this, but you all impacted my life in more ways than you'll ever know. I miss T every single day of my life and still get teary eyed thinking about her. AB and SB, you guys are great parents and great to each other, you really helped me realize what I want in a family. Thank You.

Some of my KD shout outs.

Big- I love you and I am so happy we have bonded 2 days in a row now! woo that is a record for us. Know that I am always here for you.

Heidi- Thanks for bonding with me all the time. I love you and am so incredibly happy to have met you this year.

Sloan- Thanks for giving me a hug today. It made me feel good. I really think you're so great and I always wish we hung out.

Shayla- Thanks for giving me advice all the time. I loved hearing about your passion for journaling today, it made me happy to see someone else who loves it as much as I do. 

Rachelle- I feel like we might be the same person... so pretty much that makes you the greatest person on this list. Sorry everyone else.

Brooke- Thanks for always making me feel loved. You are the greatest. You are always genuinely interested in other people and it shows. Love you girl.

It's getting late. I better go to bed. 

I love you all.