Wednesday, November 28, 2012

nothing quite like the truth.

It's 1:26 a.m. and I can't sleep. Naturally, I am blogging.

Today was a weird day. One of those days where something is off, but you can't really pin point it.

Something I am starting to realize as I get older, it's definitely okay not to be okay. We are conditioned to think we have to be happy, beautiful and perfect all of the time. We are conditioned not to show any weakness or tell the truth. We are conditioned to never open up to others and be vulnerable and honest. I truly hope everyone's life is as grand as they make it look on Facebook, because I am sure it's exhausting.

Once upon a time, I had a best friend who decided to write letters with me when I nannied in California. Today I saw a quote on Tumblr that reminded me of the entire experience:

I remember through the entire experience thinking I could not show any weakness to anyone. I had to make my So-Cal life look amazing, and it was.. in some ways. But it was mostly depressing. I remember writing her a letter admitting that things were "getting really really hard." She wrote back and said, "I thought so. I didn't think you were really having as much fun as your facebook made me think."
The other day I read the journal that I had kept at that time, and cried for myself. 

As I keep writing this post, I really don't know why I am. I guess these are just life thoughts I am having at 1:30 am. 

There's really nothing quite as beautiful as vulnerability. I wish I knew who this quote was from, because I love it so much.

“I love unmade beds. I love when people are drunk and crying and cannot be anything but honest in that moment. I love the look in people’s eyes when they realize they’re in love. I love the way people look when they first wake up and they’ve forgotten their surroundings. I love the gasp people take when their favorite character dies. I love when people close their eyes and drift to somewhere in the clouds. I fall in love with people and their honest moments all the time. I fall in love with their breakdowns and their smeared makeup and their daydreams. Honesty is just too beautiful to ever put into words.”

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Ode to the red cup.

Every year there is a day, a day which I (and many others) go ape shit over.

Starbucks Holiday Drink Day.

Even though it was a few weeks ago, I was so excited and still am.

I pulled up to that window and the most beautiful little thing was handed to me, a red Starbucks cup full of warm joy. I even said, "YAY! The red cup!" and the Barista responded.. "I know right!?" She obviously understands me.

This is my favorite time of year, and I dread the day that red cup goes away. But for now, I shall dwell in it.

Happy red cup season!!

Thursday, November 8, 2012

short one.

It is about friggen time I blog again. I tried to talk myself into believing I should exclusively use Tumblr only, but not enough of you have jumped on that wagon yet. So, here I am again.

Geez, what to say after so long. I could rant about the election like the rest of the social media world, but I will save you the anxiety of reading more politishit.

Life is good, I can't believe I graduate in 6 months. Holy cow. I tried to avoid the "real world" by convincing myself to stick around an extra semester and run for another council position with Kappa Delta, the universe was not on my side for that one and slapped me in the face a few times telling me "Get the hell out." I kind of love events like that, where you just know you're supposed to be doing something else. The hard part is not knowing exactly why. I guess I'll find out soon enough.

As for now: I have jumped on The Walking Dead band wagon, love when my mom makes me cupcakes, am over school, and still worship Starbucks.

Oh, and I am obsessed with Lana Del Rey.

Happy Thursday :)